I was a tubby kid, and no surprise, I’m much the same in my extremely late, like so late, people haven’t seen you for 20 years and they think you’re dead, late 20s. I’ve always been one type of fat guy or another.
The skinny fat guy who just looks fat when his shirt is off, or the guy who can’t take a photo without his head like a melting watermelon.
I know that, so far, this sounds like a guy who’s just beating himself up.
I don’t hate myself. I don’t dislike what I see in the mirror. Not unless I’m three days overdue for a neck shave. Then, ugh, totes gross, dad.
I’m a realist. Likely because when I was in my early teens, when I WAS full of self-loathing, perpetuated by being teased for being a fat kid, my mom would say “You’re not fat”, which just made me feel deceived. I knew she did it out of love, to prop me up, as any parent must do from time to time. And I don’t know exactly what I wanted to hear. Maybe I wanted her to dogpile on the teasing to fuel the self-loathing. Maybe I wanted her to tell me what I had to do to not stand out as a fat kid. But I needed more truth than her default reply. I was lucky that despite what was happening, I was a popular kid with lots of friends. And it was my friends who were doing the teasing. Excuse me while I unpack how that has affected me over the last 30+ years…
So where am I as a husky adult?
I’m pretty damn good with myself. I know that somehow losing 30 lbs. would make me feel better about the post-shower morning shows I perform in front of the full-length mirror. But after a spell of a nine-month binge on eating near five-figure calories of whatever, I’m back on track eating properly. Am I doing cardio every day into the fat burning zone?
Hell, no. I hate doing that.
Will I start? Yeah, sometime, I will start. I’ll get basement biking when I can stop staying up late writing blog posts.
Whatcha doin’, chunky?
As I mentioned, I have altered my eating habits. I’m not calorie counting or using an app or something like that. I rely on two main things; repetition and talking to myself. Those two things have allowed me to drop from a svelte 209.6 lbs to a skinny 203.6 in a couple weeks.
Repetition, I eat a lot of the same meals over and over again. I prep them so I don’t have to think about it. Boring? A bit. But I make great salads and soups. I delight in eating overnight oats each morning. I’m happy to eat my food. I haven’t bought lunch in a couple months. That helps the wallet as well as the waistline.
Talking to myself, if I catch myself reaching for food, I ask myself, “Are you hungry or is this a habit?” Most of the time, I’m just looking for something to put in my face outta bad habits. Boredom, deliciousness, humanity, they all tempt and deceive me. If I am hungry, my go-to is a small handful of almonds. Almonds are this magical food for me, like natural Slim-Fast. If I ate a big handful of almonds, I’d feel full like I ate a meat. I’m sure there’s some science behind it. However it wouldn’t explain how over the holidays, I ate 57 chocolate covered ones a day and still managed to eat my 4 meals a day, plus 3 snacks. I learned the key to that too, you have to snack salty, then sweet, then salty. Then sweet.
Don’t take that advice, please.
Other parts of the plan
At my office, I have this massive Grolsch beer bottle that holds 1.5 litres of water. It’s so big, I look like I stole it from a giant who lives up the beanstalk. I drink two of those a day. I should mention that it’s full of water. Not beer. That would produce entirely different results while at the office.
I use a convertible standing desk that keeps me on my feet and more importantly, off my ass until after 1pm when I eat lunch (which is why you see me post my food photos after that time).
I avoid all refined sugar. I went through a shocking withdrawal that just shows me that not only do I have zero self-control with sugar, it’s not doing good things to me. I was flattened with nausea and the worst headache of my life after 24 hours sugar-free.
I eat low carb most of the time. But I LOVE making pizza, so I have a bit of that. And I love a few potatoes. So, I have some, sometimes. But moderation is the key to this.
What I already have to my benefit is that I don’t eat meat and I don’t drink alcohol. I know, now you’re wondering why I’m not actually skinny. I blame genetics.
And being a decades-long storehouse for chocolate covered almonds.
need will start doing is cardio and yoga. Yoga just makes me feel better about my body. I need to start sleeping more. I’m a night owl and my body adjusted to let me be fine with 4-6 hours of sleep a night. But I know more sleep only does me good.
But staying up has its pluses. I got this cool shot of the Bloodmoon because I stayed up too late.